Texting Do’s and Don’ts, Appropriate Social Media, and other Tidbits for the Unspectacular
Okay, fellas, in a world where interpersonal relationships are getting fuzzy, class is being stripped and common courtesy is mistaken for flirting, there are a few things you should know.
So we’ll start with the obvious – If it feels wrong, just don’t do it.
When approaching the prospect of dating a woman, or even talking to a woman, bear in mind that if your mind is in the gutter, no matter what you say, it’s most likely going to sound sleezy. We know you want sex, we’re not idiots. We just want to know if there’s something worth getting into the sack with.
There are only two reasons a girl gave you her number. Either, one, she didn’t have the guts to say no to you so she gave you her number so you’d leave her alone and she can just ignore your phone calls. Or two, she liked the first impression of you and wanted to get to know you. This decision is paramount because if she likes you, she’ll put you in one of two categories, and boys, you already know them: friend-zone and potential. Now, most women don’t know or won’t admit the once-over option. This is where there was potential of you being boyfriend status but you screwed up and now you’re not even in the game anymore. You can get friend-zoned quite easily, but if you’re smart you can also stay in the potential area for some time. The key: be a gentleman. But above all, be human.
Words like “tell me more”, and “go on”, just don’t cut it. Ask us specifics, acknowledge something in the conversation that we’ve said so we know you’re with us. When we’re having a conversation with you, for god sakes, use correct grammar and as few abbreviations as possible. Don’t dumb yourself down to look cool, you come off as stupid – which is a turn off – or seem as though you’re trying too hard. But being a gentleman doesn’t mean being a passive aggressive pushover either. Be yourself, but be your best self. Don’t say anything outlandish that you wouldn’t normally say.
The sexiest thing to happen to me recently was at a club during a low-level conversation with someone I liked. He came in close, leaned over and whispered “I’m going to try something.” And then he kissed me.
Now, this wasn’t a text, but if you think of your text messages as being deliberate and gentle like this, then you’ll probably be alright. Once you commit to a decision, keep it firm but forgiving. Don’t be pushy.
It’s very hard to convey emotions through texting.
Words are tricky, sticky, nasty little things. They’re like gilded butterflies – very pretty, easy to mistake for others, slippery and hard to read intent. The best policy is to avoid the social media, and simply text her to inquire on a date and just meet in person. {Leah}